Summer 2020
What does it take to prepare for a home birth? I already knew how to do the labor and birth part as I had unmedicated births before and knew the best way to prepare my body. Into the second trimester, when I very slowly started to be able to function after a horrible first trimester filled with constant morning sickness, I was able to focus on a healthy pregnancy. I ate all the protein and the healthy foods I knew my body needed, and followed the advice of my midwife for additional supplements. I started my exercise routine which included walking every morning in the heat of summer, yoga, stretches, squats, belly dancing, birth ball exercises, and chiropractic adjustments. I drank the red raspberry leaf tea, I ate the dates, and took the tinctures. On my morning walks, I picked up the pace and practiced breathing, relaxing, and letting go. My baby would twist and squirm and I could see her little foot poking out of my belly. I couldn’t keep my hands off of her so I would poke her back, rub her back, and talk to her. I would say her name over and over as I decided which name would suit her best. I told her that she was going to be born at home. At that time especially, the hospital felt like a scary place. The reason I was able to focus so much on my body and my pregnancy and my baby at the time was because the pandemic locked everyone at home. I watched home birth videos and cried watching each one. I met with other home birth families over weekly birthy video chats and one by one, they shared their beautiful home birth stories. I was in a wistful but beautiful bubble. Longing to be around people, but also enjoying keeping my baby and pregnancy all to myself.
In the last weeks of pregnancy, I anxiously anticipated spontaneous labor. I know in our society, spontaneity is mostly dead, and I really don’t like surprises either, but I practiced patience and let go of all control as I waited for my baby to be ready to be born. The day before, I drove to the midwife’s house for my appointment. It was a rainy, summer day. As we chatted, the rainy breeze came through the living room windows and there was such a sense of calm and peace. The midwife didn’t pressure me to feel like I needed to have my baby soon, she didn’t ask to check my cervix, and she didn’t make me feel like my baby was too big for my body, even though it was becoming clear that this was going to be my biggest baby.
When I returned home that evening, I felt like I needed to rest. It was just a beautiful raining summer evening. I listened to my body and rested. That night, as many other nights, I hoped would be the night that labor would start. I longed for the tight burning feeling of contractions. For me, they mostly felt like the burn you feel in your thighs after doing lunges. Most of the early part of labor felt strangely like that “good burn”, but in your uterus. I did the things they tell you to do to get labor started that night, then slapped on some clary sage and jasmine oil, and wondered if I would finally be in labor.
In the wee hours of the morning, as many births start, I awoke to a pop and a small gush. I knew it wasn’t pee, because I felt and heard the pop as I awoke. I turned to my other side and a bit more amniotic fluid released. I told myself that if labor happened at night, I wasn’t going to wake anyone up, I was just going to wait and see what happens. So of course as I ran to the toilet I whisper yelled, “MY WATER JUST BROKE!” We both tried to go back to sleep for awhile. I laid in bed and wondered if contractions would begin on their own. Even though I wasn’t having contractions, I had a history of precipitous births (under 2 hours) and since my water had already ruptured, I feared that when things did start they would happen very quickly. After trying to rest for a bit, I got up and got myself ready, put on my birth dress, changed my sheets, and put a plastic shower curtain under them. I drank my large mug of double batch red raspberry leaf tea with honey I’d chilled the night before, and rushed to put away the rest of my kids’ laundry. I wanted everything in the house to be perfect. As I was running around the house preparing everything, mild contractions started. I texted the midwife, letting her know that contractions were mild, my water ruptured, and something was getting ready to go down. After my laundry was done, I ran up and down the stairs about 3 times, then asked my husband to massage my thighs with my massage oil. The contractions started to become uncomfortable and then the midwife arrived. She must have been speeding because she got there in what seemed like record time from where she was coming from.
I answered the door, and gave her a tour of where I kept everything. I told my husband to bring in all the birth supplies from her car. She had already been to our home a couple of times for a home visit. She checked out me and the baby and I told her what happened. Soon after, the midwife’s assistant arrived and things started getting more intense. I squatted down during a contraction holding onto the side of the bed. I felt emotional and a few tears slid down my cheek as I said, “I can’t believe she is finally coming.” It felt surreal to be in labor with her. Although I was excited, it felt like everything from the pregnancy to the labor happened so quickly. The midwife asked if she could hug me and gave me a big squeeze, which was exactly what I needed in that moment. It was so special having the support of someone who you know has done this before. I thought about turning on my TV to listen to music, but didn’t want to wake up my other three kids yet. I couldn’t remember where I left my phone so I ran downstairs to get it since I could listen to music on it with my headphones. I grabbed my phone and put on my headphones, and as I did I had an intense contraction along in the middle of my living room. In that moment, I felt so much peace and empowerment. “I’m doing this here and I don’t have to go anywhere and it feels amazing,” is what went through my mind. There were no strangers here, only women who I’d invited here to help. Women who have birthed their babies at home, women who I’d spent my pregnancy getting to know. It was like having a sisterhood surround me and it was just what I needed.
My husband came in the room and I hugged him, then suddenly, a wave came over me, this was transition, I knew I was about to start pushing so I told him to help. I immediately went to the floor on hands and knees because I was afraid the baby would fall out onto the kitchen floor. I let out a moan loud enough to let the midwife upstairs know that I needed her to come down. She was upstairs blowing up the birth pool in the bedroom. I already had a feeling that the baby would come too fast for the pool. The midwife and her assistant flew down the stairs as if they were about to miss it, and they opened the front door for the senior midwife who had just arrived. They hurried over to me, but did not disturb me. The midwife asked for some towels. I asked her if the pool was ready and she said it was not even close. She offered to run me a bath. I was afraid that if I stood to go upstairs, the baby would fall out on the stairs and I was on the fence about a water birth anyway so there I stayed, pushing with my body’s natural rhythm. My husband had grabbed the camera right in time to record her birth. When her head crowned, all I could think of was, “ah yes, I remember this familiar feeling,” and I reached down to feel her head. This gave me so much power and I felt unbelievably elated. I will never forget the feeling in that moment of thankfulness that this birth was going so fast and so easy. I grunted my baby out just as her sister came downstairs to see what all the excitement was about. She and was able to witness the birth of her baby sister. The midwife watched carefully but did not intervene. My baby came out and I reached down to grab her slimy little body. The midwife assisted me in unwrapping the cord from around her neck. I stared at her face as I held her close and asked if she was okay. She took a second to come to and then, she let out the sweetest cry as she took her first breaths. Her little body pinked up as the midwives cheered and said, “There you go, mama!” We all laughed because I was so overjoyed and surprised that my baby and I decided she would be born on the kitchen floor less than 30 minutes from when the midwife arrived.
As the sun came up, I nursed my baby on the couch surrounded by my family. The kids were able to see and hold their new baby sister. They handed me vitamin C drinks that the midwives made. Baby sister had her newborn exam completed on my lap on the couch, she was weighed, and we captured footprints. Before leaving, the midwife’s assistant made me a wonderful herbal sitz bath and offered to start the laundry.
Stephanie is a birth doula, childbirth educator, and birth photographer. She started Liberty Doula Services to provide support to families in Liberty Township, Ohio and surrounding areas throughout their pregnancies and births. If you are looking for an extra layer of support in your home birth or hospital birth, feel free to reach out to schedule a free consultation meeting!
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